Everybody Loves FAT

You know wine people are strange for a few reasons... they lift everything to their nose before putting it in their mouth, they plan their vacations around "appellations" not destinations, and they get excited about by things that taste like cement, dirt, and bacon fat.


Yes, BACON FAT.
Seems to be the nouveau chic flavor these days, popping up in all sorts of unexpexted places. I recently had a dessert with bacon & caramel gelato, a bac-o-bit chocolate bar, and now Syrahs boasting they come with a baconny finish. Sounds good if you like camping, right?

The first time I encountered meat in my wine was at an uber-expensive family-owned winery in Napa (most of their clients came from Europe or Malibu, and sadly know nothing about wine except that it makes them feel classy). Anyway, they had this huge cave where they aged about 70 wines...each one in a different type of barrel. I got to taste just about all of them, not because I'm anyone special or live in a beach palace, but truth be told I worked there (for a few hours) and was getting schooled. And it was quite educational, up until about the 5th tour of the day when the barrels started talking to me and I couldn't feel my face.

But before that happened, I do vaguely recall tasting 3 wines...all Cabs, aged in barrels made from 3 different types of wood (American, French, and Czech). Then for comparison, we tasted 3 more Cabs all in French oak barrels, but each oak was from a different forest in France. I never knew it could get this complicated, but whatever, I kept drinking....er, learning. It really was fascinating, how each tasted - not totally - but distinctly different.

One of the barrels was rumored to impart a "bacon fat" quality to the wine. No way, I thought. There's no bacon in that wood! Or is there...?

I'm no bacon coinossieur, but I did get a very noticeable "meaty" flavor, so I thought, hmmm maybe these wine people aren't totally demented. If I only knew that it was a contagious form of insanity I was exposing myself to...

Since that first sip of bacon I have come to enjoy the subtle liquid lard flavor in my wines. Ok, I exaggerate, its not really like drinking drippings...its more like eating collard greens that were cooked with a ham hock; the meaty essence lingering after each bite, evoking either pleasure or terror if you're of the meat-free persuasion. Same with these wines which were "cooked" in oak barrels; barrels which were "toasted" to a degree that makes whatever you put in them taste a little like smoked meat, or more specifically, campfire bacon. It's the wood, not the wine that's making you feel so carnivorous.

And that's why some of these wine freaks are so obsessive about oaked vs. unoaked, or what "type" of oak a wine is aged in. The wood can do some crazy, and often crazy-cool stuff to wine. So don't dis your wine geekazoid friend next time they agonize over a restaurant wine list.
You may score yourself a free piece of bacon!

Here's a couple of ways to incorporate some meat into your wine diet...great for vegetarians, too!

- Boxcar Pinot Noir (Russian River)
- Boekenoogen Syrah (Santa Lucia Highlands) ... this one's kinda hard to get, so just ask your local wine guy for a "meaty" Syrah.

Happy sipping!

The White Stuff

One of the most irritating questions I hear when tasting/drinking/purchasing wine is "Do you like whites or reds?" They might as well be asking "Do you like smart men or funny men?" The question is loaded, and my answer always makes them wish they hadn't asked...

It's all about context. I pair wines with my mood, not my food, which makes it impossible to say whether I like whites or reds. IT DEPENDS on the mood, the occassion, the company, and - most importantly - my stress level and how quickly I want that fermented grape juice in my bloodstream!!

So, Mr. Bartender, I'm not ordering Gewurztraminer because I'm a whimpy girl who only likes whites. I'm acclimating. There's a whole wine list to work my way through. Geesh, cut me some slack.

The brilliant Oscar Wilde once said, "the secret to being a bore is to tell everything", and I think it's a great quote to apply to wines. Too much of anything is indeed boring. I like my wines like I like my friends...mysterious and complex, not flaunting all their best qualities for you from the start, but slowing revealing further glimpses into their personality moment by moment, or sip by sip. Just like us humans, wines have been on a journey and each step of this journey - on the vine, off the vine, in the bottle, and beyond - shapes their personality, making them anything from shallow and dull, to provocative or boisterous. In fact, I believe that wines have genders, too, but that's for another post.

And that's the beauty of drinking the RIGHT WHITE. They can put on quite a show, stripping down to reveal layer after layer of flavor. Tropical fruits, spice, toasted nuts, petrol, cement. And the show goes on... The bad news is, you'll have to cough up more than $10 for a ticket to the white show. Most cheap whites will give you a quick peep of one-dimensional flavor and have nothing more to do with you. That's their job. But, if you're willing to step up your vino budget just a tad, you won't be sorry.

Here's some of my favorite, personality-packed whites, all under $20 and worth every penny!

2005 Bonterra Viognier (Mendocino County) - rich, creamy vanilla overlaps vibrant layers of peach, honeysuckle and orange blossom. A perfect balance of fruit and oak. Light enough for a pre-dinner cocktail, and strong enough to take to the table.

2008 Banyan Gewurtraminer (Monterey County) - zesty and refreshing, this Gerwurz is a vacation for the palette. "It's like biting into a guava", says a fellow vino vulure. Very smooth, slightly sweet, with just a trace of acidity. Delivers mouthfuls of tropical fruit and just enough sugar to balance the delightfully peppery first impression.

2006 Marc Kreydenweiss Pinot Blanc (Alsace) - Pinot Blancs are hard to find, but worth the search. Alsace makes some of the best. This one has a yummy nose of kiwi and honey, then comes a fresh symphony of granny smith apple, juicy peach and pear, with a satinny smooth finish. Opt for PB instead of an un-oaked Chardonnay next time you get your hands on a good wine list.

Marc Bredif Vouvray Chenin Blanc (France) - the nose hits you like a gust of sweet perfume...slightly grassy but lush with fig and peach aromas. Surprisingly rich body, generous with baked apple/pear flavors. French Chenin Blancs are a bit more minerally, giving this wine beautiful balance.

Happy sipping!

One Nation, Under Grog

They say that politics and religion are taboo topics at the dinner table, but add some VINO to that table and both are fair game. You see, wine has a long-running relationship with both touchy subjects. Religion is what saved the wine industry from complete extinction during Prohibition, as "sacramental" wine was the only legal way to continue making the blessed grape juice (and consequently, converting nearly the entire population to Catholicism). We like to think that Jesus drank wine as he bonded with the boys, and just about every good Christian I know is happy to follow in his footsteps, for the sake of good old fashioned "fellowship."

And then there's politics. Or, politicians, rather, who have set a standard of wine consumption as an urbane, intelligent and patriotic activity since the early days of the White House. One of the pioneers of wine worship was Thomas Jefferson, whose first order of White House business was to convert the laundry room into a wine cellar, filling it with thousands of dollars worth of wines from around the globe. A high priority, indeed, as Jefferson wooed many an international dignitary with his collection of French and Italian vinos.

Then there was the epically-glamorous Kennedy era, when French Bordeaux was the order of the day. Perhaps this helped shift the mindset of the "cocktail generation", as Jackie and John sauced it up with their fancy imports. When Lyndon B. Johnson moved into the White House, wine consumption turned ethnocentric, as LBJ banned all international wines from being served at official functions -- thankfully American citizens weren't required to abide by the same rule (not that I don't love my local vinos, but life without Argentine Malbec or German Reisling just isn't worth living). Even the conservative Carters, who banned hard alcohol service in the White House let wine stay on the drink menu. I can't imagine who would have ever come to dinner if they hadn't...

And, alas, the dawning of a new White House wining & dining age...the Obama era. For months, we've watched, listened, and obsessed over the Obamas' every move, paying closest attention to the crucial details like -- what is she wearing? where are they eating? and most importantly, what are they sipping on? Hot topic!

Just as Sex and the City popularized the pretty pink cosmo, the equally witty, successful, and poised Michelle Obama has, perhaps unknowingly, advised the savvy American woman to stock up on Graham Beck Brut (South Africa). After a sommelier in Chicago suggested the GB Brut to the Obamas in 2008, they ordered 6 cases to have on hand for Nov. 4th... assuming they'd have reason to toast.

Coincidentally, the Graham Beck Brut is a lot like Mr. President himself: Refreshing. Elegant. Gentle, yet powerful. And, what do you know...they're both from Africa.

So, my fellow Americans, as if we didn't already love bubbly, it's time to follow our new leader and get some Beck!

Real Men Drink Pink

Wine bars are breeding grounds for sociological observations. One easy way to pass the time is to judge people by their vino color choices, which is not as cut and dry as it seems. Some may assume that WHITE drinkers are lightweights, RED drinkers are a bit more sturdy, perhaps a little carnivorous, and PINK drinkers are on the fruity side. But, you'd be wrong there. If I've learned anything after a year of pouring wine to both truck drivers and metrosexuals alike, it's that pink drinkers are far from fruity. Quite the opposite, in fact. You'd be shocked to see the kinds of big, hairy, masculine hands that grip the glass of a fine rose...


According to the VINO VULTURE's thorough assesment of male drinking habits, I must conclude that men who drink pink are gushing with confidence, sophistication, and intrigue. Time after time, this theory never fails. Think about it...pink wines are anything but wimpy, yet the narrow-minded, image-concious, and therefore unsophisticated drinker would not know this enlightening fact. Only a REAL MAN - one who could swallow a few ounces of his testosterone-drenched pride for half a second - could allow himself to venture into the pink realm and discover that pink wines (rose/rosato) are some of the most interesting, complex and addictive vinos out there. And they usually know that pinks don't taste like fruit punch because they are made from the very same stuff that the big reds are made of (sangiovese, pinot noir, cabernet sauvignon, malbec...), they're just not tormented by tannins for as long. So essentially, you get a more delicate, less aggressive version of your favorite reds, in a pretty pink glass that chicks really dig. Start with these:

Zepaltas Rose of Pinot Noir
Robert Oatley Rose of Sangiovese
Domaine Chandon Blanc de Noirs

So, the next time you're scoping out the scene at your local wine bar, it's not a bad idea to see the world through rose colored glasses, if you catch my drift.

What's in a Name?

You've heard the phrase "Don't judge a book by it's cover", and in the wine world, that translates to "Don't judge a wine by it's frightening name". Case in point: BUKETTRAUBE (boo-ki-trobb), the meaty little South African white. So lush, refreshing, and aromatic...it seems wrong that it gets branded with a name worthy of a weapon of war. Somehow the name BUKETTRAUBE doesn't conjure up images of juicy peaches, spicy cloves, and a touch of honey. But give it a sip, and that's what you get. Big enough to wash down some pomegranate-glazed chicken meatballs with chickpea puree. And I know you've always got some of those on hand, right? (If not, head to Willi's Wine Bar. Photo included for temptation purposes.)

So here's my plug for a wine that you might pass on because it lacks the dainty alias it deserves. Bravo BUKETTRAUBE!

Paradise Found

Was that the best sparkling wine I’ve ever tasted, or am I just easy to please?

Yes, I confess, I’ll drink just about anything with tiny bubbles, but really, wow! Paradise Ridge 100% Chardonnay Blanc de Blanc (from Santa Rosa, CA. of all places!) is too good to be unknown and, naturally...unavailable at the grocery store. Slightly sweet, with a hint of toasted almonds and apple blossom (c'mon you've tasted those, right?). Perhaps not the best sparkling wine in existence, but it certainly is my flavor of the month. And who doesn’t love a bubbly, almond-apple flavored winter fling? Bring it on.

Perhaps it was the countless bottles of Korbel Brut I consumed growing up with my mother, who thinks Champagne deserves it’s own sector of the food pyramid (God bless her!). Setting the dinner table went like this: forks, knives, napkins, champagne glasses. And I mean EVERY NIGHT. I’m not complaining, but anyone who’s sipped on their fair share of Korbel Brut – and my share was more than fair – will tell you that it’s nothing to write home about. (The Korbel winery in Guerneville does offer some tasty ways to branch out, though). Point is, I was primed for a change. Korbel had become the cranky old husband I came home to every night, and Paradise Ridge was the young, studly, and all-too-approachable male underwear model looking for a new friend. Now thankfully, cheating on a bottle of wine is not outside my moral perimeters so I allowed myself to indulge in the case of Korbel vs. Paradise. (Cranky hubby would win in the prior comparison, I swear.)

The good news: Paradise can be found. Bad news: it can only be found at Paradise Ridge Winery in Santa Rosa, or online at www.prwinery.com ($30). Do what you must to get a taste...preferably to share with your cranky old hubby on Christmas or New Years Eve. Who knows what kind of magic a paradisiacal bubbly can work....Cheers to that!

Just say YES

If you’re ever invited to dinner at a wine broker’s house DO NOT, under any circumstances, turn down the invitation. There will most likely be a wine cellar involved, or at least a wine garage. And since wine dealers spend most of their day anxiously trying to please individual palettes, you can guarantee a table full of superstar wines, as part of an attempt to have ‘something for everyone’. Oh, how we need more overachievers in the wine world!

During a such an evening, I arrived to a house filled with the aroma of homemade pizzettas: lemony chicken, pesto and melting mozzarella. Hmm, I’m sensing a glass of buttery Chard coming on, and, viola! There is was: a 2006 Walter Hansel “North Slope” Russian River Valley Chardonnay...golden and glistening in a frosty goblet, flaunting it’s voluptuous bod.

I must admit, as pretty as that picture was, I was not itching to slug the stuff. It's not that I'm an anti-chard gal, but there are countless other wines I would rather sip on. You’ve heard the complaints: enough oak to splinter your throat, and malolactic worthy of drenching your movie theatre popcorn in. Poor Chard has developed a nasty, yet well-deserved reputation for trying too hard. Finding a demure Chard with a delicate balance of fruit and oak is quite a coup. But the search is so worth the prize. And thank goodness I had Wes the Wine Broker to do the searching for me!

Wes has tasted up and down the California coast, scouting out wines with stunning character and copious drinkability. He appreciates subtleties and respects small production, hand-crafted wines that can only be found by hunting them down. I trust his selections, so I was optimistic about the straw-colored Chard placed before me.

And down it went, like a cyclone of pleasure. Juicy apple and pear, toasted brioche, salted caramel, and spring roses dancing on the tongue (yes, I am officially a cork-dork now). A round velvety body, and satiny smooth finish complete the masterpiece. Clearly, Walter Hansel is the kind of Chard that begs for sip after sip. The subtle harmony is so stunning, you must experience it over and over again to believe it's actually happening. Still!

And so, yet another lesson in "don't knock it until you try it". But the real moral of the story is: keep your friends close, and your wine broker friends closer. Thanks Wes:)